Moderator: Welcome everybody to the first republican presidential debate. Here are our candidates. We have Donald Trump, businessman and reality TV star, and Harold Gomes, former Senator from Missouri, who is a goat. [Trump smiles and waves to the crowd. The goat nibbles at his microphone.] Trump: Thanks, Jim. I’m happy to be here in […]Read more "Republican Presidential Debate: Trump vs. Goat"
Have you seen the show where main characters die? Few TV shows are so bold. Few TV shows have so many main characters. With other shows, viewers pick a main character and root for them for the entirety of the series. Sometimes they enter perilous situations and escape improbably. In reality, they would have died. […]Read more "The Show Where Main Characters Die"
Sometimes when I’m walking down the street, people stop and ask me, “How do I get to the Jefferson Hotel?” I tell them I don’t know, I’m just coming home from the gym. But something I do know a lot about is how to be creative. Creativity is the spice of life. Imagine deviled eggs […]Read more "How to Bee More Cre8tive"
In today’s society, there is much debate about whether life is better now than it was in the past. The world used to be much simpler. What has changed? How are things different? Where would you prefer to be? Perhaps you’ve thought about this. Though some people think that life is the same as always […]Read more "Modern Life: A Five-Paragraph Essay"
It’s a phrase you’ve likely read hundreds, if not thousands, of times. It’s plastered on billboards and street signs and pizza boxes. You’ve heard it on TV commercials and radio ads. About Chinese food and plumbers and online accredited universities. That’s right. You know the words: “Quality Guaranteed.” If you’re like me, you’ve wondered who […]Read more "The True Story Behind “Quality Guaranteed”"
The Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, hasn’t been seen in public since September 3rd. This is his longest absence since he assumed control of the Democratic People’s Republic in 2011. According to state-run media, he’s suffering from an “uncomfortable physical condition.” Video footage has shown him limping. But, speculation has spread around the […]Read more "Where is Kim Jong-un? He’s Living in My Basement"
[Note: My encounter with Adrian Peterson occurred before his indictment for child abuse. He has hurt me deeply. I will seek justice.] “Adrian! Adrian!” I shouted. He was gripping my arm, his face buried against my shoulder, Adrian Peterson, Minnesota Vikings star running back, my first pick, as we rumbled to the top of the […]Read more "Fantasy Football Diary — Entry #2"